I specifically asked for the Borg implant

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Maybe next time

Maybe next time

I had a minor accident a few weeks back, where I suffered a blow to the head. I didn’t think it was too bad, so I didn’t end up going to the hospital for it right away.

I didn’t plan on going to the hospital at all, actually. I had a great black eye, and I just told everyone that I got into a big fight.

Come to think of it, “I didn’t think it was very serious, so I didn’t go to the doctor” is a theme that recurs in my medical history a lot.

It wasn’t until my eye got infected that I went to the hospital. I went in, told the ER doctor my symptoms:

“Itchy eye, red eye colouration, headaches, watery eyes, runny nose, sore throat.”

She took my temperature, blood pressure and heart rate.

“You have a fever, Mr. Carlisle,” she told me, struggling with my last name (French Canadians have a hard time figuring out the silent S), “When you blow your nose, does the phlegm have any colour?”

“Yes, in fact. It’s black.”

“Black?” she asked, surprised.

You know that you have something good when your symptoms shock the ER doctor. I blew my nose and proved it to her.

I sat in the waiting room until another doctor came to see me, and pronounced that I had pink eye, and was about to send me on my way when I asked if the pink eye would explain the fever that I had.

“Fever?” she asked. That’s two ER doctors that I shocked.

She started feeling around my skull at that point, seeing where it hurt and didn’t, and decided to send me for a CT scan. I dripped my pink-eye tears all over the CT machine. I’m sure that the next 5 patients to use it will get infected, thanks to me.

When the results came back, she told me that I had broken my right orbital floor, and the tissues surrounding my eye were actually falling down into my sinus. That would explain the fever, sore throat, and the blood in my phlegm. There wasn’t any bone supporting my right eye, so it was literally falling through my face. I would need surgery.

I was sent to see an ophthalmologist, who told me that my right eye had fallen about 3mm from where it should be. On the upside though, he told me that I still have 20/20 vision, and that there’s no nerve damage or damage to my retina. The only problem is the broken bone and the pink eye.

I was sent to see the surgeons who were going to fix my face, and they sent me home for a week and a half, to let the infection go away, so that they don’t let it get inside my skull. On Friday, August 6th, I had my surgery, and despite my specific instructions that they replace my right eye with a Borg-style implant, they only put a metal plate in my skull, to fix the bone, and put my eye right back where it should be. I will make a full recovery and require no bionic implants at all.

The swelling has gone down almost entirely, and I’m feeling good. I think they must have made the incision into my head somewhere inside my eyelid, so there won’t even be a scar.

There were only two really scary parts about this whole thing:

1. When I am put on morphine, I have hallucinations. Not really bad ones, but I consistently have them. This time, I seriously believed that if I stopped consciously thinking about my breathing, then I would stop breathing, and probably die. I was very afraid to go to sleep.

2. When I mentioned to the doctors that I’m a MA bioethics student at McGill, they had a sort of “we better be on our best behaviour now” thing going on, which scared me. What do they think they can normally get away with, that they can’t with a bioethicist watching?

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2010-866,
    title = {I specifically asked for the Borg implant},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2010-08-9,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/09/borg-implant/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "I specifically asked for the Borg implant" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 09 Aug 2010. Web. 22 Mar 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/09/borg-implant/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2010, Aug 09). I specifically asked for the Borg implant [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/09/borg-implant/

Figuring things out

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So I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to be doing, come this September. I have a few options right now, and it feels like on the even-numbered days, I’ve made one decision, and on odd-numbered days, I’m of completely the opposite opinion.

To catch you up, last semester was really disappointing to me in a lot of ways. I was closer than I ever have been to dropping out of school. It got so bad, that in a counselling session with a therapist at McGill, I explored the question of how bad an academic programme would have to be before one would be justified in suing McGill for one’s tuition back.

After I stopped being so bitter about that, I ended up with a job, and a pretty decent one, too. It’s close to where I live, the money is good, and I get to be creative at work. I’m working as a designer at a marketing company. It’s an excellent job, and I’m glad for it. I’m still in a sort of probationary period that will last 3 months, where they’re still deciding whether they want to keep me, and I’m still deciding whether I want to stay there.

I’ve been enjoying living with the privileges of a regular paycheque. I don’t have to worry at the end of the month about whether or not I will have enough money to cover rent. This is a step up from the last semester. They ran out of TA-ships before they got to me, and so money was very tight, and I had a spreadsheet going that calculated, based on my previous expenses, how long I had until my money ran out.

So when I landed this job, my first thought was that I could finally relax a bit. And I have been! Things have been pretty decent of late. I’m enjoying things being stress-free, by comparison to this last year.

One of the options that I am considering is taking a year off school to de-stress, pay off some debt and enjoy not having to worry about money or school. There’s a few reasons I’m considering this:

I don’t think that I’ll get much by way of student loans for this year, and I have no reason to believe that I’ll get a second TA-ship this year either, which means I’ll be in a much worse financial situation than even last year, unless something unexpected and good happens.

To make it through the year, I’d only need a few thousand dollars more. You wouldn’t think that would be so hard to get, but it’s easier to get a full-time job than it is to get a job, even part-time, that is compatible with being a student.

I could probably make it through the year if I knew I was going to get a second TA-ship, or if there was an RA-ship (Research Assistantship) on the horizon somewhere, but things are looking grim.

I’m going to apply for OSAP anyway, even though I am sceptical that I will get anything from them. And I’m going to send out some emails to profs to see if there’s any RA-ships that I can do during the school year. I don’t need a lot of money. I just need enough to get through the second semester.

In the meantime, I’m going to keep my options open as best I can. If I think I can make it through the year financially, I will give notice that I’m quitting my job when the probationary period ends.

Does anyone know any profs at McGill who need research assistants who know philosophy and medical science? I can write, think critically, closely read dense papers, and I know my way around a pipette.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2010-763,
    title = {Figuring things out},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2010-06-20,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/06/20/figuring-things-out/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Figuring things out" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 20 Jun 2010. Web. 22 Mar 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/06/20/figuring-things-out/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2010, Jun 20). Figuring things out [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/06/20/figuring-things-out/

Big presentation last Wednesday

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On last Wednesday, I had my Bioethics Practicum presentation. I was stressing about this particular assignment for a while, but largely thanks to the hard work of my partner, it turned out very well.

In fact, after the our time in front of the class, the prof indicated that he had been to presentations done by professional bioethicists, who were hired for sums of thirty to forty thousand dollars, who did not produce so thorough an examination of the issue at hand as my classmates and I did in our assignments.

I felt flattered of course, and asked him if we could have thirty or forty thousand dollars.

He thought I was joking.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2010-717,
    title = {Big presentation last Wednesday},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2010-04-11,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/04/11/big-presentation-last-wednesday/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Big presentation last Wednesday" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 11 Apr 2010. Web. 22 Mar 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/04/11/big-presentation-last-wednesday/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2010, Apr 11). Big presentation last Wednesday [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/04/11/big-presentation-last-wednesday/

This makes me kinda sad

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IE6 on a Mac

IE6 on a Mac

This makes me a kinda sad. Do you see why? It’s Internet Explorer 6. But more: it’s Internet Explorer 6, installed on my Mac. :(

This happened because the Acer laptop that I have been using up until this point to test sites on IE died. It had a long life, for an Acer—5 years. And now, it’s gone forever. RIP, Acer.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2010-711,
    title = {This makes me kinda sad},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2010-04-5,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/04/05/this-makes-me-kinda-sad/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "This makes me kinda sad" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 05 Apr 2010. Web. 22 Mar 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/04/05/this-makes-me-kinda-sad/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2010, Apr 05). This makes me kinda sad [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/04/05/this-makes-me-kinda-sad/

Il pleut

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So it rained today and it rained a lot.

I learned something though. The shoes that I wear are cracked along the bottom. (I knew that already, actually.) Otherwise, they’re fine, and so about a month ago, Pickles glued the sole of my shoe together. It’s barely noticeable.

What I learned through the rain is that even though my shoe was glued back together, it is not waterproof, and not suitable for use in the wintertime. I need to buy new boots. Cold feet are terrible.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2009-486,
    title = {Il pleut},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2009-12-3,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/03/il-pleut/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Il pleut" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 03 Dec 2009. Web. 22 Mar 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/03/il-pleut/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2009, Dec 03). Il pleut [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/03/il-pleut/

McGill O-Week

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O-Week at McGill

O-Week at McGill

It’s O-Week here at McGill, and I’m reminded of that every time I pass through campus. There are a few tell-tale signs:

  • Students are wearing matching t-shirts, and the girls have cut their shirts up so that you can see more of their skin.
  • Students are drunk in the middle of the day.
  • Students are walking around in groups based on their faculties and yelling at each other.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2009-319,
    title = {McGill O-Week},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2009-08-27,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/27/mcgill-o-week/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "McGill O-Week" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 27 Aug 2009. Web. 22 Mar 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/27/mcgill-o-week/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2009, Aug 27). McGill O-Week [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/27/mcgill-o-week/

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