A bacon-related death

by

I used to have the phone number for my little sister’s landlord programmed into my phone. I forget why, exactly, but one day, a couple years ago, I accidentally sent the following text to the landlord’s number rather than my little sister’s:

“I am about to die a bacon-related death.”

My little sister’s landlord replied, “I don’t know who you are, but whoever you are, stop eating bacon!”

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2010-1022,
    title = {A bacon-related death},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2010-11-22,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/11/22/a-bacon-related-death/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "A bacon-related death" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 22 Nov 2010. Web. 19 Jan 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/11/22/a-bacon-related-death/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2010, Nov 22). A bacon-related death [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/11/22/a-bacon-related-death/

Hobo the cat

by

Hobo the cat, a.k.a. "Stealth Kitty"

Hobo the cat, a.k.a. "Stealth Kitty"

My parents have adopted a stray cat. It’s white and orange, and they call it Hobo. Alternately, it goes by the name of Stealth Kitty.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2010-975,
    title = {Hobo the cat},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2010-10-9,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/10/09/hobo-the-cat/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Hobo the cat" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 09 Oct 2010. Web. 19 Jan 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/10/09/hobo-the-cat/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2010, Oct 09). Hobo the cat [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/10/09/hobo-the-cat/

I’m in Scarborough

by

In Scarborough

In Scarborough

I am on my way home for Thanksgiving. I’m testing out an experimental way of getting home: the Kijiji rideshare. Basically, the way it works is that someone who’s making a trip, say from Montréal to Toronto, would post an offer on Kijiji, and people who also need to make the same trip will reply and agree to pay a certain sum of money to come along.

I worked out two rideshares. One from Montréal to Toronto and one from Toronto to London, which is pretty close to Stratford. The major appeal is the price. It’s way cheaper than taking the train. You just have to be a bit flexible with your travel schedule, that’s all.

At the moment, I’m at the place where the two connect, the Scarborough City Centre, where I’ll be for a few hours yet. If anyone is in the area, give me a call! :P

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2010-969,
    title = {I’m in Scarborough},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2010-10-8,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/10/08/im-in-scarborough/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "I’m in Scarborough" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 08 Oct 2010. Web. 19 Jan 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/10/08/im-in-scarborough/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2010, Oct 08). I’m in Scarborough [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/10/08/im-in-scarborough/

Mom’s amaryllis

by

Mom's amaryllis

Mom's amaryllis

Here is mom’s amaryllis plant. It was a gift from a friend, but I can’t remember who.

She says it reminds her of something from Dr. Seuss, with the bloom-within-a-bloom. I say it’s kind of like Alien, with a mouth-within-a-mouth.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2009-567,
    title = {Mom’s amaryllis},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2009-12-28,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/28/moms-amaryllis/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Mom’s amaryllis" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 28 Dec 2009. Web. 19 Jan 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/28/moms-amaryllis/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2009, Dec 28). Mom’s amaryllis [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/28/moms-amaryllis/

37 years, huh?

by

I guess a prime number is reason to celebrate

I guess a prime number is reason to celebrate

Here is my little sister pointing out a sign at the Mr. Optician in Stratford. Thirty-seven is a prime number. Maybe that’s why they were so excited about it. Anyone else think they have a good explanation for it?

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2009-559,
    title = {37 years, huh?},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2009-12-27,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/27/37-years-huh/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "37 years, huh?" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 27 Dec 2009. Web. 19 Jan 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/27/37-years-huh/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2009, Dec 27). 37 years, huh? [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/27/37-years-huh/

Christmas shopping

by

Christmas shopping with my little sister

Christmas shopping with my little sister

Christmas shopping was surprisingly easy this year, and I think I did a good job at getting good, thoughtful presents this time around.

For my father, I got him a nice bottle of wine. That’s right dad. Wine comes in bottles.

For my mom, she really likes all the sparrows and other birds that come to visit her on her front porch, but she hates the way that the squirrels get into the bird seed, so I got her a squirrel-proof bird feeder.

For my older sister, she always loved the classic Disney cartoons starring Donald Duck, so I got her a DVD with some of those old cartoons on it.

She loves it when she finds cute things

She loves it when she finds cute things

I went shopping together with my little sister for my brother-in-law. Together we got him steak knives and bacon-wrapped steaks. We went to a number of places before we thought of anything.

At first we were thinking about getting some suggestive gifts like a book on pregnancy, or a box of condoms with holes in it, or a package of birth control pills that was obviously replaced with sugar pills, or a clock that ticked loudly. Part of me still regrets that I didn’t get those for him.

His present was the hardest to find. Every member of my family is in the habit of sending out lists of things we want for Christmas, to aid the givers in the gift-giving experience. There’s less guesswork. It’s less frustrating, and it doesn’t constrain one either. I think I only used these gift lists for two of the gifts that I got this year. He has yet to fully embrace this tradition, and so it’s hard to buy presents for him.

And she also likes snuggling with cute things

And she also likes snuggling with cute things

Before we settled on the steak knives and steaks, my little sister found a tiny cheese grater. She loves anything tiny.

For my younger sister, I got her a notebook with some French writing on the cover, and a unicorn figure to help her with her drawing.

For Pickles, I got her a copy of the Cake Wrecks book, since she loves baking so much, and she is a fan of the blog.

I have a system that I’ve used for a few years that I find helps with Christmas shopping, and helps especially if you’re travelling for the holidays. I buy most of my presents online, and have them shipped to the location where I will be celebrating Christmas.

That way, I don’t have to carry them with me, and I don’t even have to go to a store to find them.

This was just weird

This was just weird

One last thought about Christmas shopping: What is going on with this reindeer candle thing?

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2009-561,
    title = {Christmas shopping},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2009-12-25,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/25/christmas-shopping/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Christmas shopping" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 25 Dec 2009. Web. 19 Jan 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/25/christmas-shopping/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2009, Dec 25). Christmas shopping [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/25/christmas-shopping/

My family’s favourite Christmas movie

by

Little Shop of Horrors

Little Shop of Horrors

For some people, it’s that terrible stop-motion animated feature about Rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer, and for others it’s one of the millions of adaptations of A Christmas Carol. In the same way that there are certain smells or decorations or sounds that remind different people of Christmas, there are movies that do the same thing. It’s almost Pavlovian.

But for me and my family (except for my older sister, who likes to pretend she doesn’t like it) our favourite film to watch at Christmas-time is Little Shop of Horrors.

Five points for whoever can give me the weirdest true Christmas tradition that their family regularly observes. It has to be something real, and it has to be something that is done regularly.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2009-573,
    title = {My family’s favourite Christmas movie},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2009-12-24,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/24/my-familys-favourite-christmas-movie/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "My family’s favourite Christmas movie" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 24 Dec 2009. Web. 19 Jan 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/24/my-familys-favourite-christmas-movie/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2009, Dec 24). My family’s favourite Christmas movie [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/12/24/my-familys-favourite-christmas-movie/

Grandpa Searles

by

Some of my most enduring memories from when I was a child are of my grandfather.

When I was younger, he had a house on Delatre Street in Woodstock and I always loved to go visit him. He had a great sense of humour and a very laissez-faire attitude toward caring for his grandchildren. He was a very intelligent and loving man, and I miss him very much.

The house on Delatre Street was set on a very long piece of property, with a big sloping driveway along the one side of the house that went into a big garage in front of the vegetable garden. My grandfather was very good at gardening and caring for fruit trees. There was a gigantic pear tree in his back yard and every year he would come to visit us with bushels full of the biggest, most melting, yellow pears you can imagine. I still can’t eat pears from a grocery store, because every time I tried, they tasted like cardboard by comparison.

He also had a mulberry tree in his back yard, and for a few years, we would come to visit him and he would lay out a gigantic tarp underneath it, and we would take an elongated wooden beam and shake parts of the tree, so that the mulberries would fall onto the tarp underneath. At that point, we could just pick them up off the ground. In preparation for this, for the week beforehand, he would sit in the back yard with a couple pieces of wood joined by a hinge and fend the squirrels off. He would slap the pieces of wood together, and it sounded enough like a gunshot to work very effectively. Later on, as I recall, he got a water gun for the same purpose. I wonder which he liked better.

My grandfather was very clever about making things in his basement workshop. First off all, a lot of the woodworking tools that he kept in his workshop were things he made himself. And he used these tools to make all manner of wonderful, useful and beautiful things.

Even now, my apartment is full of a great many things that my grandfather made. He made my bed, my dresser, a full-length mirror. Pretty much everything that’s wooden and beautiful that’s in my home was made by my grandfather.

When I was very young, and I liked to collect coins, he made me a wooden box and engraved “Benjamin’s Treasure Chest” on the top of it. My grandfather was always very supportive of what I found to be interesting, no matter how strange he thought it was. And he had no problem telling me how strange he thought some of my interests to be.

He used to drive a big blue classic automobile, the make and model of which I have forgotten. I want to say it was a Plymouth Fury II, but I could be wrong. It was the kind of car that you would expect to see in a car show. It was made in the 1960’s, back when seat-belts were optional. The one that he owned had seat-belts, though. My little sister loved it, and was very disappointed when he sold it, later in life. My mother told me that one summer he took it apart to its component parts in his driveway and the neighbours were taking bets as to whether or not he would be able to put it back together again. Of course, he had no problem doing so.

I’m glad that I wasn’t there to see the house of Delatre Street after grandpa moved out of it, so I remember it the way it was. The house itself was full of dozens of clocks, all of which chimed on the hour. There was a wooden spinning wheel in the front room, and a grandfather clock. There was a huge chess set in the living room that, of course, grandpa made, and I remember playing chess with him when I was very young. The house was full of furniture, cabinets, old family photographs and Wallace Nutting prints.

For Christmas, we always went to visit. Every Christmas, all the grandchildren would mark off our heights against a doorframe in the kitchen. In the summer, we had a family reunion and barbecue, and my grandpa loved it.

I remember one day being called out of class because of one of my dad’s psychotic episodes. My sisters, my mother and I left our home and went to stay with my grandfather, where it was safe. The rest of the world could fly out of control, but when I was at grandpa’s, I was safe.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2009-473,
    title = {Grandpa Searles},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2009-11-26,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/11/26/grandpa-searles/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Grandpa Searles" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 26 Nov 2009. Web. 19 Jan 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/11/26/grandpa-searles/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2009, Nov 26). Grandpa Searles [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/11/26/grandpa-searles/

My unicorn doesn’t look right

by

"My unicorn doesn't look right"

"My unicorn doesn't look right"

I’ve been saving this post for a special day. And today is 09.09.09. At 9h, I have my Bioethics Theory course. What were you doing?

The last time that I was in Stratford, visiting my family, I dragged my little sister out of her bed to play a game with me and Pickles and mom and dad. My little sister had gone to sleep early, saying that she was tired from work or VBS or something.

We decided to play Cranium, and part of the way through, she started drawing a unicorn for Pickles. She started by drawing the horn first, and then drawing the horse around it.

My little sister must have been tired, because she stopped drawing and looked at her picture and proclaimed, “My unicorn doesn’t look right, and I don’t know why.”

After a few minutes, she realised that she had put the horn in the wrong place. Does this make it a rhinoceros rather than a unicorn? I grabbed the piece of paper while she was still incapacitated from laughter, before she could correct it. I like the unicorn just the way it is, to be perfectly honest. :)

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2009-407,
    title = {My unicorn doesn’t look right},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2009-09-9,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/09/09/my-unicorn-doesnt-look-right/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "My unicorn doesn’t look right" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 09 Sep 2009. Web. 19 Jan 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/09/09/my-unicorn-doesnt-look-right/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2009, Sep 09). My unicorn doesn’t look right [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/09/09/my-unicorn-doesnt-look-right/

Our niece

by

Our niece, Pickles' sister's daughter

Our niece, Pickles' sister's daughter

Pickles’ sister has a daughter. This makes her our niece. You wouldn’t believe the number of “Uncle Ben” jokes that I hear when I go to visit. Anyway, we saw her when we went to the cottage this week past, and Pickles took a photograph of her.

While we were there, Pickles pulled out one of her standard tricks that she uses on young children: She helped them to make cupcakes with her. Our niece and Pickles’ cousin made cupcakes, decorated them, and then delivered them to other family members who had cottages nearby. They were absolutely covered in sugar and sparkles and little candies. I think that our niece only ate about 3, so that’s good. :)

An artist's rendition of Pickles, her cousin and her niece, making cupcakes together

An artist's rendition of Pickles, her cousin and her niece, making cupcakes together

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2009-286,
    title = {Our niece},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2009-08-20,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/20/our-niece/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Our niece" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 20 Aug 2009. Web. 19 Jan 2019. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/20/our-niece/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2009, Aug 20). Our niece [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/20/our-niece/

Search

Tag bag

Recent comments

Old posts

All content © Benjamin Carlisle