Answering machine message

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On a lighter note, the following is an answering machine message left at my mom and my little sister’s place. They do not sell anything with nozzles, nor are they involved in any business that provides support for a product with nozzles.

We’re not sure who “John” is, but we’re glad that he got the business with the nozzles figured out.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2014-4116,
    title = {Answering machine message},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2014-04-4,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2014/04/04/answering-machine-message/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Answering machine message" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 04 Apr 2014. Web. 22 Nov 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2014/04/04/answering-machine-message/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2014, Apr 04). Answering machine message [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2014/04/04/answering-machine-message/


Gesture-sensitive technology is not a new idea

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I saw the attached video below, and I thought to myself, I’ve heard of this before.

A loud clatter of gunk music flooded through the Heart of Gold cabin as Zaphod searched the sub-etha radio wavebands for news of himself. The machine was rather difficult to operate. For years radio had been operated by means of pressing buttons and turning dials, then as technology became more sophisticated the controls were made touch-sensitive—you merely had to brush the panels with your fingers; now all you had to do was wave your hand in the general direction of the components and hope. It saved a lot of muscular expenditure of course, but meant that you had to sit infuriatingly still if you wanted to keep listening to the same programme.

Adams, Douglas. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Pan Books: United Kingdom, 1979.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2013-3350,
    title = {Gesture-sensitive technology is not a new idea},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2013-03-9,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2013/03/09/gesture-sensitive-technology-is-not-a-new-idea/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Gesture-sensitive technology is not a new idea" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 09 Mar 2013. Web. 22 Nov 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2013/03/09/gesture-sensitive-technology-is-not-a-new-idea/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2013, Mar 09). Gesture-sensitive technology is not a new idea [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2013/03/09/gesture-sensitive-technology-is-not-a-new-idea/


Puns are truly the highest form of humour

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Shortly after my little sister moved to Montréal, she was asking about how to use the word “celui” in French.

Alain gave her an example. “You can say, ‘celui-là,’ which means ‘that one there,'” he told her.

Caitlin asked, “Can you use ‘celui’ anywhere else?”

To which I replied, “You can put celui in … a sawad.”

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2013-3347,
    title = {Puns are truly the highest form of humour},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2013-03-8,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2013/03/08/puns-are-truly-the-highest-form-of-humour/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Puns are truly the highest form of humour" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 08 Mar 2013. Web. 22 Nov 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2013/03/08/puns-are-truly-the-highest-form-of-humour/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2013, Mar 08). Puns are truly the highest form of humour [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2013/03/08/puns-are-truly-the-highest-form-of-humour/


Giving up on NaNoWriMo for this year at least

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There’s no way that I will be able to finish writing the book I started this month. I just didn’t have the emotional energy to focus on the task due to an ongoing family crisis. I love the idea and I want to try again, but there’s just no way I could make it happen with all the craziness surrounding my dad this month.

That said, next year I may be able to write a book based on what has happened, although it may be way less believable than the ghost story I was planning to write for this year. If I ever do write a book or if my family sells the rights to a movie based on what happened, I think we should call it “A Number of Embarrassing Admissions.”

Get it? There’s a double-meaning in the title. It’s like we’re admitting to something, but it could also be referring to hospital admissions, of which there were many.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2012-3187,
    title = {Giving up on NaNoWriMo for this year at least},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2012-11-27,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2012/11/27/giving-up-on-nanowrimo-for-this-year-at-least/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Giving up on NaNoWriMo for this year at least" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 27 Nov 2012. Web. 22 Nov 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2012/11/27/giving-up-on-nanowrimo-for-this-year-at-least/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2012, Nov 27). Giving up on NaNoWriMo for this year at least [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2012/11/27/giving-up-on-nanowrimo-for-this-year-at-least/


How being gay is like being Batman

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If you have friends who are evangelical Christians, you may have noticed that they are generally fine watching television shows or movies with characters who are gay. This may seem difficult to reconcile with the fact that often it’s the same evangelicals who have a hard time dealing with gay people in real life.

After discussing this with Pickles, we decided that this is similar to their attitude toward Batman. Evangelicals like watching Batman on the television, but if a friend starts experimenting with being Batman (i.e. going out at night wearing a spandex outfit to punch criminals, etc.), they get concerned.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2012-2629,
    title = {How being gay is like being Batman},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2012-01-4,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2012/01/04/how-being-gay-is-like-being-batman/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "How being gay is like being Batman" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 04 Jan 2012. Web. 22 Nov 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2012/01/04/how-being-gay-is-like-being-batman/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2012, Jan 04). How being gay is like being Batman [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2012/01/04/how-being-gay-is-like-being-batman/


The luge

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What's the luge?

What’s the luge?

Every once in a while I have an idea for something that I think would be fun on a t-shirt or on your iPhone wallpaper. This one is not original. It’s something of a running joke in my family.

A few years ago, listening to CBC’s coverage of the Winter Olympics, my older sister asked, “What’s the luge?”

She had never heard of it before.

Not missing a beat, my mother answered her, “It’s when you don’t winge!”

My sister was not impressed. As far as I know, she still hates that joke. My mother, on the other hand, thinks it’s hysterical, and she will explain in detail why it is such a good joke to you if you don’t laugh the first time you hear it.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-2546,
    title = {The luge},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-12-8,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/08/the-luge/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "The luge" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 08 Dec 2011. Web. 22 Nov 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/08/the-luge/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Dec 08). The luge [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/08/the-luge/


I made a doctor very angry at clinical last Friday

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Last Friday, I was assigned to give a patient his morning medications. I checked the chart to see who the patient’s nurse was, and I didn’t recognise the name. It was someone new. He was due for a dressing change that morning as well, and so my teacher told me to look out for someone I didn’t recognise to come and have a look at it—that person would likely be my patient’s nurse.

So when a woman without a name tag who was wearing a stethoscope around her neck came to inspect my patient’s dressing, I asked, “Oh! Are you his nurse?”

Her eyes narrowed to slits, and a flash of anger crossed her face.

“I’m his doctor,” she replied, deeply offended.

I avoided her for the rest of the day. Now that I think of it, after that interaction, I don’t think she wouldn’t have been such a great nurse anyway.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-2531,
    title = {I made a doctor very angry at clinical last Friday},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-12-5,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/05/i-made-a-doctor-very-angry-at-clinical-last-friday/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "I made a doctor very angry at clinical last Friday" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 05 Dec 2011. Web. 22 Nov 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/05/i-made-a-doctor-very-angry-at-clinical-last-friday/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Dec 05). I made a doctor very angry at clinical last Friday [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/05/i-made-a-doctor-very-angry-at-clinical-last-friday/


Solid dairy confinement

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Solid Dairy Confinement

Solid Dairy Confinement

I am in the process of writing a post on the 2011 Quidditch World Cup, but I’m too tired to finish it right now, and I haven’t even gone through the photos yet.

So in the meantime, here’s something I pulled out of the file on my computer marked “not quite ready for public consumption.”

I’ve thought for a while that the attached image or something like it, would be good on a t-shirt. I think it’s funny. And it’s not the worst idea I’ve ever had for a t-shirt design.

Incidentally, the linked image is sized to make it fit nicely onto an iPhone lock screen.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-2447,
    title = {Solid dairy confinement},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-11-15,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/11/15/solid-dairy-confinement/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Solid dairy confinement" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 15 Nov 2011. Web. 22 Nov 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/11/15/solid-dairy-confinement/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Nov 15). Solid dairy confinement [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/11/15/solid-dairy-confinement/


Answering my readers’ questions

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Everyone gather ’round. It’s that time again! It’s time for me to answer my readers’ questions!

And by that, I mean, it’s time for me to see what strings of words people have typed into Google that brought them to my blog. Then I look through the search keywords that are (more-or-less) well-formed questions and answer them as best I can. It’s the least I could do, since they took the time to visit my site with these questions on their mind.

“Why can’t the space shuttle leave conventionally from an airport?” (July 26)

Mostly because it’s not an airplane. Those booster rockets that the space shuttle normally uses for take-off are not decorative.

“If I fired a laser beam at my hand would it come out the other side?” (Aug 4)

Yes.

“How to castle in chess with friends?” (July 31, Aug 7, 14, 17)

Begin a chess game with a friend, castle normally.

“How do you move your king and castle at the same time?” (July 26)

You probably meant “How do you move your king and your rook at the same time?”

“Rook” is the name for the pieces that start at the corners of the board.

In chess, “castle” is a verb. It’s the verb that means to move your rook and king at the same time, two spaces toward each other, provided that the intervening spaces are not occupied and that neither the king nor rook has been moved before in the match (and that you’re not trying to castle out of check).

“Cheat on MCAT tips?” (Aug 1) / “How to cheat the MCAT?” (July 30)

Are you really asking me to help you to cheat on the MCAT? Get out.

“Has anyone ever cheated on MCAT before?” (July 28)

No. No one in the history of mankind. No one whose motives were so pure as to aspire to medical school has ever even considered cheating to attain such a goal.

“Grammar is one of the greatest joys in life, don’t you find?” (Aug 8)

Actually, now that you mention it, grammar is the greatest joy in life.

“How do you pronounce ‘couche tard’?” (Aug 18)

“Couch” (like the synonym for sofa)

“Tard” (like the second syllable of “retard”)

“How to avoid getting your bike stolen [in] Montréal?” (Aug 25)

Sell bike, and buy Bixi pass with the proceeds.

“How to get your thesis bound at McGill” (July 27)

You gotta do it yourself, I’m afraid. You can get Acco-Press binders at the bookstore.

“How to take someones fortune?” (Aug 21)

Twitter-stalking.

“I bought wrong grammar?” (Aug 10)

You sure did.

“I might have strep throat I don’t got insurance?” (Aug 7)

That’s quite the predicament! Are you a Canadian citizen?

“Is there a Montréal métro pass for mature students?” (Aug 19)

Nope. No such thing. Once you’re 25, you pay full price, whether you’re a full-time student or not.

“What happens after you accept a TA-ship offer?” (Aug 4)

Heh … Do you really want to know?

“What is giving you the most problems with Microsoft Word?” (July 26)

Thank you for asking! Mostly crashing, interface glitches and the fact that there’s no separation between content, formatting, comments and meta-data.

“Where can i get hasperat?” (July 28)

Bajor, if you want it authentic.

But if you would make the brine for a really strong hasperat—I mean eye watering, tongue searing strong—you’d make an old man very happy.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-2084,
    title = {Answering my readers’ questions},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-08-26,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/08/26/answering-my-readers-questions/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Answering my readers’ questions" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 26 Aug 2011. Web. 22 Nov 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/08/26/answering-my-readers-questions/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Aug 26). Answering my readers’ questions [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/08/26/answering-my-readers-questions/


Surprisingly funny business names: Nettoyeur Clean-Marie

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Nettoyeur Clean-Marie

Nettoyeur Clean-Marie

I’ve walked past this storefront countless times in the past two years, but it wasn’t until about a week ago that I got the joke. The major street that runs through my neighbourhood is called “Chemin Queen-Marie.” The laundry place is called “Nettoyeur Clean-Marie.”

These people are now my heroes. This is the greatest thing I’ve heard since my mother defined the olympic luge as “when you don’t winge.”

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-1787,
    title = {Surprisingly funny business names: Nettoyeur Clean-Marie},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-05-19,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/19/surprisingly-funny-business-names-nettoyeur-clean-marie/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Surprisingly funny business names: Nettoyeur Clean-Marie" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 19 May 2011. Web. 22 Nov 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/19/surprisingly-funny-business-names-nettoyeur-clean-marie/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, May 19). Surprisingly funny business names: Nettoyeur Clean-Marie [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/19/surprisingly-funny-business-names-nettoyeur-clean-marie/


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