Puns are truly the highest form of humour

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Shortly after my little sister moved to Montréal, she was asking about how to use the word “celui” in French.

Alain gave her an example. “You can say, ‘celui-là,’ which means ‘that one there,'” he told her.

Caitlin asked, “Can you use ‘celui’ anywhere else?”

To which I replied, “You can put celui in … a sawad.”

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2013-3347,
    title = {Puns are truly the highest form of humour},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2013-03-8,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2013/03/08/puns-are-truly-the-highest-form-of-humour/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Puns are truly the highest form of humour" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 08 Mar 2013. Web. 18 Sep 2018. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2013/03/08/puns-are-truly-the-highest-form-of-humour/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2013, Mar 08). Puns are truly the highest form of humour [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2013/03/08/puns-are-truly-the-highest-form-of-humour/

The luge

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What's the luge?

What’s the luge?

Every once in a while I have an idea for something that I think would be fun on a t-shirt or on your iPhone wallpaper. This one is not original. It’s something of a running joke in my family.

A few years ago, listening to CBC’s coverage of the Winter Olympics, my older sister asked, “What’s the luge?”

She had never heard of it before.

Not missing a beat, my mother answered her, “It’s when you don’t winge!”

My sister was not impressed. As far as I know, she still hates that joke. My mother, on the other hand, thinks it’s hysterical, and she will explain in detail why it is such a good joke to you if you don’t laugh the first time you hear it.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-2546,
    title = {The luge},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-12-8,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/08/the-luge/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "The luge" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 08 Dec 2011. Web. 18 Sep 2018. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/08/the-luge/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Dec 08). The luge [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/08/the-luge/

Solid dairy confinement

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Solid Dairy Confinement

Solid Dairy Confinement

I am in the process of writing a post on the 2011 Quidditch World Cup, but I’m too tired to finish it right now, and I haven’t even gone through the photos yet.

So in the meantime, here’s something I pulled out of the file on my computer marked “not quite ready for public consumption.”

I’ve thought for a while that the attached image or something like it, would be good on a t-shirt. I think it’s funny. And it’s not the worst idea I’ve ever had for a t-shirt design.

Incidentally, the linked image is sized to make it fit nicely onto an iPhone lock screen.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-2447,
    title = {Solid dairy confinement},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-11-15,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/11/15/solid-dairy-confinement/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Solid dairy confinement" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 15 Nov 2011. Web. 18 Sep 2018. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/11/15/solid-dairy-confinement/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Nov 15). Solid dairy confinement [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/11/15/solid-dairy-confinement/

Answering my readers’ questions

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Everyone gather ’round. It’s that time again! It’s time for me to answer my readers’ questions!

And by that, I mean, it’s time for me to see what strings of words people have typed into Google that brought them to my blog. Then I look through the search keywords that are (more-or-less) well-formed questions and answer them as best I can. It’s the least I could do, since they took the time to visit my site with these questions on their mind.

“Why can’t the space shuttle leave conventionally from an airport?” (July 26)

Mostly because it’s not an airplane. Those booster rockets that the space shuttle normally uses for take-off are not decorative.

“If I fired a laser beam at my hand would it come out the other side?” (Aug 4)

Yes.

“How to castle in chess with friends?” (July 31, Aug 7, 14, 17)

Begin a chess game with a friend, castle normally.

“How do you move your king and castle at the same time?” (July 26)

You probably meant “How do you move your king and your rook at the same time?”

“Rook” is the name for the pieces that start at the corners of the board.

In chess, “castle” is a verb. It’s the verb that means to move your rook and king at the same time, two spaces toward each other, provided that the intervening spaces are not occupied and that neither the king nor rook has been moved before in the match (and that you’re not trying to castle out of check).

“Cheat on MCAT tips?” (Aug 1) / “How to cheat the MCAT?” (July 30)

Are you really asking me to help you to cheat on the MCAT? Get out.

“Has anyone ever cheated on MCAT before?” (July 28)

No. No one in the history of mankind. No one whose motives were so pure as to aspire to medical school has ever even considered cheating to attain such a goal.

“Grammar is one of the greatest joys in life, don’t you find?” (Aug 8)

Actually, now that you mention it, grammar is the greatest joy in life.

“How do you pronounce ‘couche tard’?” (Aug 18)

“Couch” (like the synonym for sofa)

“Tard” (like the second syllable of “retard”)

“How to avoid getting your bike stolen [in] Montréal?” (Aug 25)

Sell bike, and buy Bixi pass with the proceeds.

“How to get your thesis bound at McGill” (July 27)

You gotta do it yourself, I’m afraid. You can get Acco-Press binders at the bookstore.

“How to take someones fortune?” (Aug 21)

Twitter-stalking.

“I bought wrong grammar?” (Aug 10)

You sure did.

“I might have strep throat I don’t got insurance?” (Aug 7)

That’s quite the predicament! Are you a Canadian citizen?

“Is there a Montréal métro pass for mature students?” (Aug 19)

Nope. No such thing. Once you’re 25, you pay full price, whether you’re a full-time student or not.

“What happens after you accept a TA-ship offer?” (Aug 4)

Heh … Do you really want to know?

“What is giving you the most problems with Microsoft Word?” (July 26)

Thank you for asking! Mostly crashing, interface glitches and the fact that there’s no separation between content, formatting, comments and meta-data.

“Where can i get hasperat?” (July 28)

Bajor, if you want it authentic.

But if you would make the brine for a really strong hasperat—I mean eye watering, tongue searing strong—you’d make an old man very happy.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-2084,
    title = {Answering my readers’ questions},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-08-26,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/08/26/answering-my-readers-questions/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Answering my readers’ questions" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 26 Aug 2011. Web. 18 Sep 2018. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/08/26/answering-my-readers-questions/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Aug 26). Answering my readers’ questions [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/08/26/answering-my-readers-questions/

Surprisingly funny business names: Nettoyeur Clean-Marie

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Nettoyeur Clean-Marie

Nettoyeur Clean-Marie

I’ve walked past this storefront countless times in the past two years, but it wasn’t until about a week ago that I got the joke. The major street that runs through my neighbourhood is called “Chemin Queen-Marie.” The laundry place is called “Nettoyeur Clean-Marie.”

These people are now my heroes. This is the greatest thing I’ve heard since my mother defined the olympic luge as “when you don’t winge.”

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-1787,
    title = {Surprisingly funny business names: Nettoyeur Clean-Marie},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-05-19,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/19/surprisingly-funny-business-names-nettoyeur-clean-marie/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Surprisingly funny business names: Nettoyeur Clean-Marie" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 19 May 2011. Web. 18 Sep 2018. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/19/surprisingly-funny-business-names-nettoyeur-clean-marie/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, May 19). Surprisingly funny business names: Nettoyeur Clean-Marie [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/19/surprisingly-funny-business-names-nettoyeur-clean-marie/

I think I broke Facebook

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I think I broke Facebook

I think I broke Facebook

I must have clicked on the wrong thing. I guess I’m not as good at the Facebook as I used to be.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-1741,
    title = {I think I broke Facebook},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-05-6,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/06/i-think-i-broke-facebook/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "I think I broke Facebook" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 06 May 2011. Web. 18 Sep 2018. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/06/i-think-i-broke-facebook/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, May 06). I think I broke Facebook [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/06/i-think-i-broke-facebook/

Student drawings in Contemporary Moral Issues

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Spring has Sprung

Spring has Sprung

This last TA-ship was pretty rough, compared to the others. It was a first-year course, for starters. Not only that, but this course isn’t a part of the core philosophy curriculum—rather, it’s the kind of course that education students and science students take because they need a credit from the humanities, and they figure that Contemporary Moral Issues will be an easy one.

They should have figured out toward the beginning of the class that it wasn’t going to be easy: It said on the syllabus itself that for every conference missed, there was a 10% deduction from the student’s final grade. Attendance was mandatory, and so was handing in a completed set of three questions each week on the week’s readings.

I'm a moral agent

I'm a moral agent

Not only that, but philosophy is a fairly low-grading faculty, at least at McGill. We do our part to fight grade inflation. The average for pretty much any course in philosophy generally tends to be B-.

This comes as a shock to most students.

I think what shocked me was the number of people I caught lying or cheating in some way in the course. (You can make your favourite joke about the irony of lying/cheating in an ethics course now.)

The attached drawings are ones that I found on my students’ mandatory weekly reading questions throughout the semester.

The first drawing was done on a particularly nice Friday—the first really good weather we had this spring. I think the second was done on the week that we covered moral agency and patiency. That, I suppose, is what the student took to be what a moral agent looks like. How would you capture moral agency in a drawing?

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-1727,
    title = {Student drawings in Contemporary Moral Issues},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-05-5,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/05/student-drawings-in-contemporary-moral-issues/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Student drawings in Contemporary Moral Issues" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 05 May 2011. Web. 18 Sep 2018. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/05/student-drawings-in-contemporary-moral-issues/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, May 05). Student drawings in Contemporary Moral Issues [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/05/05/student-drawings-in-contemporary-moral-issues/

So Apple isn’t tracking me after all

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I remember in September, I joked with my supervisor about how I was sure that Apple was tracking me through my iPod. I sort of assumed that Apple was doing that. I was okay with it. I thought maybe some day it might provide a much-needed alibi for a crime I don’t plan on committing.

Then this past week, there was a big scandal about how some people found a file on everyone’s iPhone that has a whole bunch of locations and times tagged. I even downloaded the application for the Mac that allows me to view the file on a map of the world. I thought it was pretty cool. It wasn’t very accurate though. Sometimes it would tag me as having been kilometres away from my actual position.

Now today it turns out that Apple hasn’t been tracking me after all. Those locations and times are just locations of wi-fi hotspots and cell phone towers.

It is a little bit of a let-down that Apple doesn’t care about me enough to stalk my every movement.

Google and Microsoft are doing that, though.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-1691,
    title = {So Apple isn’t tracking me after all},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-04-27,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/27/so-apple-isnt-tracking-me-after-all/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "So Apple isn’t tracking me after all" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 27 Apr 2011. Web. 18 Sep 2018. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/27/so-apple-isnt-tracking-me-after-all/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Apr 27). So Apple isn’t tracking me after all [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/27/so-apple-isnt-tracking-me-after-all/

SPR Coffee—experience mocha

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SPR front cover

SPR front cover

Here’s something else I found in the pages of an old book. It’s a brochure for SPR Coffee, a coffee shop that appears to be headquartered in Qingdao, China. I think I got it from the Shijiazhuang franchise.

I have scanned the front cover, back cover and the inside two pages.

SPR inside

SPR inside

I recommend that you actually read the text of the inside of the brochure in its entirety. It is worth the time.

This is a wonderful example of Engrish. There was a t-shirt that I would periodically see while I lived in China, that was covered in nonsensical decorative English. All I can remember about it now is that ended with “… like little child’s kitten.”

I would have bought one of those if I ever saw it for sale. I probably still would.

SPR back cover

SPR back cover

My favourite part of the SPR brochure is either the “drifting cloud” part or the “mocha … mocha … mocha … mocha” part at the end. I haven’t decided.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-1627,
    title = {SPR Coffee—experience mocha},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-04-14,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/14/spr-coffee-experience-mocha/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "SPR Coffee—experience mocha" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 14 Apr 2011. Web. 18 Sep 2018. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/14/spr-coffee-experience-mocha/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Apr 14). SPR Coffee—experience mocha [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/14/spr-coffee-experience-mocha/

Stickers on the glass of a pizza place

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Pizza sticker

Pizza sticker

By my house, there’s a Double Pizza, and for the last little while, there’s been a big poster in their front window advertising for cheap pizza. A couple days ago, I guess they decided that the promotion was over, and put stickers on the glass in front of the poster.

This makes me smile. I think it’s because the original numbers are clearly visible behind the stickers. It’s like they’re saying, “Yeah, prices went up. Oh well.”

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-1595,
    title = {Stickers on the glass of a pizza place},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-04-13,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/13/stickers-on-the-glass-of-a-pizza-place/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Stickers on the glass of a pizza place" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 13 Apr 2011. Web. 18 Sep 2018. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/13/stickers-on-the-glass-of-a-pizza-place/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Apr 13). Stickers on the glass of a pizza place [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/13/stickers-on-the-glass-of-a-pizza-place/

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