I made a doctor very angry at clinical last Friday

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Last Friday, I was assigned to give a patient his morning medications. I checked the chart to see who the patient’s nurse was, and I didn’t recognise the name. It was someone new. He was due for a dressing change that morning as well, and so my teacher told me to look out for someone I didn’t recognise to come and have a look at it—that person would likely be my patient’s nurse.

So when a woman without a name tag who was wearing a stethoscope around her neck came to inspect my patient’s dressing, I asked, “Oh! Are you his nurse?”

Her eyes narrowed to slits, and a flash of anger crossed her face.

“I’m his doctor,” she replied, deeply offended.

I avoided her for the rest of the day. Now that I think of it, after that interaction, I don’t think she wouldn’t have been such a great nurse anyway.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-2531,
    title = {I made a doctor very angry at clinical last Friday},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-12-5,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/05/i-made-a-doctor-very-angry-at-clinical-last-friday/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "I made a doctor very angry at clinical last Friday" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 05 Dec 2011. Web. 24 May 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/05/i-made-a-doctor-very-angry-at-clinical-last-friday/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Dec 05). I made a doctor very angry at clinical last Friday [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/12/05/i-made-a-doctor-very-angry-at-clinical-last-friday/


I’ve noticed a trend in the news from Montréal this week

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I've noticed a trend in Montréal this week

I've noticed a trend in Montréal this week

I have noticed a trend in the news regarding Montréal, where I live.

  • Monday: A 25-tonne concrete beam crashed from the roof of a tunnel on the Ville-Marie expressway.
  • Tuesday: A giant pothole, at least 1.5 m deep and 4.5 m wide opened up on Ontario Street. According to CBC, “The city says the ground gave away beneath the asphalt, causing the hole to appear.”
  • Wednesday: A bus got stuck in an entirely different giant pothole in Montréal East.

Do they really expect us to believe that holes in the ground are just opening up by themselves all over Montréal?

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I think it’s safe to assume at this point that this is the work of a super-villain. I’m thinking it’s either the bad guy from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Stabber?) or the one from the end of the Incredibles (the Underminer?). They both used an underground drilly machine to move around, as I recall.

 

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-2035,
    title = {I’ve noticed a trend in the news from Montréal this week},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-08-3,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/08/03/ive-noticed-a-trend-in-the-news-from-montreal-this-week/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "I’ve noticed a trend in the news from Montréal this week" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 03 Aug 2011. Web. 24 May 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/08/03/ive-noticed-a-trend-in-the-news-from-montreal-this-week/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Aug 03). I’ve noticed a trend in the news from Montréal this week [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/08/03/ive-noticed-a-trend-in-the-news-from-montreal-this-week/


Traffic problems at Queen-Mary and Circle

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I took this video a while ago, but I still think it’s interesting. The traffic lights were all frozen on red, but probably not for even sixty seconds before drivers got antsy and tried to drive through it.

Think about it: It was less than sixty seconds and people couldn’t even wait that long before they start breaking traffic laws.

How long would you wait?

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2011-1652,
    title = {Traffic problems at Queen-Mary and Circle},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2011-04-19,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/19/traffic-problems-at-queen-mary-and-circle/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Traffic problems at Queen-Mary and Circle" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 19 Apr 2011. Web. 24 May 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/19/traffic-problems-at-queen-mary-and-circle/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2011, Apr 19). Traffic problems at Queen-Mary and Circle [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2011/04/19/traffic-problems-at-queen-mary-and-circle/


Memories of French class

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Téléfrançais - Bonjour, allô, salut!

Téléfrançais – Bonjour, allô, salut!

Does anyone else remember Téléfrançais? It was a children’s programme meant for French-language instruction made in the 1980’s by TVOntario, starring the crime against nature that you see in the picture attached to this post.

I take it as a sign that my French is still at an immature level, that sometimes, after conducting a conversation entirely in French, I walk away feeling very satisfied with myself and humming the Téléfrançais theme song.

The very last Téléfrançais émission that I remember seeing in elementary school ended with a puppet flying an airplane for some reason, and Ananas (the pineapple puppet) and the children were passengers. Les Squelettes were on the wings of the aircraft too, as I recall. At the last moment, the puppet lost control of the airplane and they were about to crash, when the closing credits started to roll over the screen. I never saw the next émission, so as far as I know, that’s how the television programme ended—with the death of all the characters in a fiery airplane disaster. Actually, that wouldn’t be so hard to believe.

There’s an obvious life-lesson to be learned here: Don’t fly in an aircraft where the pilot is a puppet.

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2010-898,
    title = {Memories of French class},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2010-08-25,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/25/memories-of-french-class/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Memories of French class" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 25 Aug 2010. Web. 24 May 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/25/memories-of-french-class/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2010, Aug 25). Memories of French class [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/25/memories-of-french-class/


I specifically asked for the Borg implant

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Maybe next time

Maybe next time

I had a minor accident a few weeks back, where I suffered a blow to the head. I didn’t think it was too bad, so I didn’t end up going to the hospital for it right away.

I didn’t plan on going to the hospital at all, actually. I had a great black eye, and I just told everyone that I got into a big fight.

Come to think of it, “I didn’t think it was very serious, so I didn’t go to the doctor” is a theme that recurs in my medical history a lot.

It wasn’t until my eye got infected that I went to the hospital. I went in, told the ER doctor my symptoms:

“Itchy eye, red eye colouration, headaches, watery eyes, runny nose, sore throat.”

She took my temperature, blood pressure and heart rate.

“You have a fever, Mr. Carlisle,” she told me, struggling with my last name (French Canadians have a hard time figuring out the silent S), “When you blow your nose, does the phlegm have any colour?”

“Yes, in fact. It’s black.”

“Black?” she asked, surprised.

You know that you have something good when your symptoms shock the ER doctor. I blew my nose and proved it to her.

I sat in the waiting room until another doctor came to see me, and pronounced that I had pink eye, and was about to send me on my way when I asked if the pink eye would explain the fever that I had.

“Fever?” she asked. That’s two ER doctors that I shocked.

She started feeling around my skull at that point, seeing where it hurt and didn’t, and decided to send me for a CT scan. I dripped my pink-eye tears all over the CT machine. I’m sure that the next 5 patients to use it will get infected, thanks to me.

When the results came back, she told me that I had broken my right orbital floor, and the tissues surrounding my eye were actually falling down into my sinus. That would explain the fever, sore throat, and the blood in my phlegm. There wasn’t any bone supporting my right eye, so it was literally falling through my face. I would need surgery.

I was sent to see an ophthalmologist, who told me that my right eye had fallen about 3mm from where it should be. On the upside though, he told me that I still have 20/20 vision, and that there’s no nerve damage or damage to my retina. The only problem is the broken bone and the pink eye.

I was sent to see the surgeons who were going to fix my face, and they sent me home for a week and a half, to let the infection go away, so that they don’t let it get inside my skull. On Friday, August 6th, I had my surgery, and despite my specific instructions that they replace my right eye with a Borg-style implant, they only put a metal plate in my skull, to fix the bone, and put my eye right back where it should be. I will make a full recovery and require no bionic implants at all.

The swelling has gone down almost entirely, and I’m feeling good. I think they must have made the incision into my head somewhere inside my eyelid, so there won’t even be a scar.

There were only two really scary parts about this whole thing:

1. When I am put on morphine, I have hallucinations. Not really bad ones, but I consistently have them. This time, I seriously believed that if I stopped consciously thinking about my breathing, then I would stop breathing, and probably die. I was very afraid to go to sleep.

2. When I mentioned to the doctors that I’m a MA bioethics student at McGill, they had a sort of “we better be on our best behaviour now” thing going on, which scared me. What do they think they can normally get away with, that they can’t with a bioethicist watching?

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2010-866,
    title = {I specifically asked for the Borg implant},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2010-08-9,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/09/borg-implant/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "I specifically asked for the Borg implant" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 09 Aug 2010. Web. 24 May 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/09/borg-implant/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2010, Aug 09). I specifically asked for the Borg implant [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/09/borg-implant/


Which is worse?

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Velociraptor on a bicycle

Velociraptor on a bicycle

Which is worse? A velociraptor on a bicycle or a bear with an automobile?

And yes, there is a correct answer.

I asked Pickles, and she says, “They are both unimaginable evils.”

Four points to whoever makes the most persuasive argument. If you can also give a feasible plan for escaping a bicyclic velociraptor or automotive bear, you will also have the satisfaction of probably having saved us all.

"Who's been driving in my car?"

"Who's been driving in my car?"

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2010-844,
    title = {Which is worse?},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2010-08-7,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/07/which-is-worse/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Which is worse?" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 07 Aug 2010. Web. 24 May 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/07/which-is-worse/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2010, Aug 07). Which is worse? [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2010/08/07/which-is-worse/


Creepy sign on the Métro

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A sign on the Métro with a weird icon in the middle

A sign on the Métro with a weird icon in the middle

See if you notice what I noticed on this sign. Do you see it?

Look at the second icon, between the fire and the cross. What is going on there?

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2009-289,
    title = {Creepy sign on the Métro},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2009-08-21,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/21/creepy-sign-on-the-metro/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Creepy sign on the Métro" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 21 Aug 2009. Web. 24 May 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/21/creepy-sign-on-the-metro/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2009, Aug 21). Creepy sign on the Métro [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/21/creepy-sign-on-the-metro/


Crazy dog

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This dog belongs to my parents-in-law. It everyone all the time.

This dog belongs to my parents-in-law. It bites everyone all the time.

Pickles’ parents own a dog. This dog, while adorable to look at, has very sharp, pointy teeth and a strong love of jumping on people. Pickles and I went to visit her family, since her grandmother had come up from Texas to spend some time at the family cottage. I met a cousin I didn’t know I had, spent some time with my in-laws and enjoyed a few days of gorgeous weather. And the dog didn’t bite me once. I didn’t give it the chance to.

Edit: Pickles took this picture herself. I think it looks pretty good. :)

BibTeX

@online{bgcarlisle2009-260,
    title = {Crazy dog},
    journaltitle = {The Grey Literature},
    author = {Benjamin Gregory Carlisle},
    address = {Montreal, Canada},
    date = 2009-08-17,
    url = {https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/17/crazy-dog/}
}

MLA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. "Crazy dog" Web blog post. The Grey Literature. 17 Aug 2009. Web. 24 May 2017. <https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/17/crazy-dog/>

APA

Carlisle, Benjamin Gregory. (2009, Aug 17). Crazy dog [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.bgcarlisle.com/blog/2009/08/17/crazy-dog/


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